GARY CHAPMAN--author, speaker, counselor--has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.
CANDY MCVICAR is an author, educator, speaker, and devoted advocate for parents who experience the loss of a baby or child. After the stillbirth of her daughter Grace in 2001, she committed to enhance the care bereaved families receive while in the hospital, to facilitate healing holistically, and to optimize outcomes for subsequent pregnancies. Candy is the founder of the Missing GRACE Foundation, a national nonprofit that provides support, resources, and education for families and professional care providers when there is loss of a baby, infertility, or adoption challenges. Find out more about Candy at www.candymcvicar.com.
A Powerful Resource for Grieving Couples
Losing a child is among the most tragic experiences one can face. The crushing grief puts immense strain on the marriage, family relationships, and friendships that few can understand. That’s why this book was written. In it Candy McVicar, a grieving mom who leads a ministry for grieving parents, and Dr. Gary Chapman, relationship expert and author of The 5 Love Languages®, team up to help couples who are facing the unimaginable.
They’ll teach you how to:
There is nothing that can make the pain of losing a child go away, but healing is possible with intentional hearts and the right resources.
Praise for Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby
“The kind of relational stress that a couple goes through after losing a child can be ugly and plain violent. The pain is raw, the wounds are open, and loving each other through the tragedy can almost feel impossible. The words Candy and Dr. Chapman have written are incredibly compassionate and kind—you will find genuinely helpful advice, stories, and resources. I’m in awe of the beauty that has come from such a devastating loss, and I'm thankful to be a witness to the legacy of love on these pages and words.”
“Losing a baby has been one of the most painful things that I have ever gone through. Candy’s and Gary’s book, Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby, brings comfort and encouragement to grieving parents and gives insight into what’s most helpful for friends of the grieving parents. The pages are filled with hope from those who have walked through the valley of losing a child.”
Mother of 19 children here on earth and in loving memory of our 2 babies in heaven, Caleb and Jubilee
“Losing a child is an unspeakable loss. Instead of holding your little one in your arms you have suddenly become part of a club no one would ever want to join. How do you navigate the pain? How does your marriage survive such grief? Candy has been there, and in this book she will tenderly walk you down a path to healing, hope, and love.”
Author of Praying Women
“As a pastor, I’ve walked many families through the process of grief. However, as a dad I had no idea how to face it for myself. It is hard to fathom, but my wife and I have gone through sixteen pregnancies in total, resulting in eight healthy children and eight waiting for us in heaven. Each time there was grief. Each time required facing fear. And each time God’s miraculous love brought healing. As I turned the pages of Holding on to Love After You’ve Lost a Baby, I experienced the healing grace of the Lord. I highly recommend this book. Consider resourcing your church, counseling ministry, and mom’s groups with copies of Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby to have on hand to gift to people grieving.”
Senior Pastor of The House Church
“As parents who have experienced the loss of two children, we wholeheartedly recommend reading Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby. It is a great resource for parents walking through child loss and for friends and family walking along with them. Holding on to love after you’ve lost a baby is difficult, and this book reminds you that you’re not alone, you’re seen, and that healing doesn’t mean forgetting your precious child. Remembering always, our boys, Dobbs and Reed.”
–Gentry and Hadley Eddings
Bereaved parents, pastor at Forest Hill Church
“Grief speaks a language all its own and this book provides one of the most thoughtful and compassionate approaches to ministering to those who are grieving. Holding on to Love After You've Lost a Baby is a book you will pick up time after time as you walk with people through their darkest days and guide them to that Light at the end of the tunnel.”
Senior Pastor, Free Chapel, New York Times bestselling author
“As a parent and grandparent myself, I know that the loss of a child is the parent’s greatest fear. The force of this fear must be met with an even greater force of love to endure such tremendous loss. Candy McVicar’s insightful story and Gary Chapman’s wisdom are a perfect combination. The strategic blend these two bring is how we as couples, families, and communities increase the experience of healing love and chase away crippling fear. There are few resources that I have found to be this succinct and powerful for the person who grieves.”
President of Loving on Purpose
Author of Keep Your Love On and Unpunishable
“What an incredible book! This is a book that everyone needs to read, whether you have experienced loss or not. I have been inspired reading how Candy and Stephen selflessly give away what they learned through the trauma of stillbirth and miscarriage, which translates that many thousands are being helped in their journey too. This book is a wonderful and significant resource for grieving parents and a brilliant help for those who want to help family or friends who suffer loss. Read it and let it reach the depths of your heart, soul, mind, and body, because as you do, hope will begin to arise.”
Author, motivational speaker, founder of Spiritual Health Weekends, and cofounder of ngm and The Inspire Arts Trust
“Holding on to Love after You've Lost a Baby is a gift to every parent who has experienced the worst kind of loss and the church leaders and friends called to come alongside. Having been on both sides of this dark valley, as a pastor and having lost our first child, Michael, in stillbirth, I can say from personal experience how valuable this book will be to the thousands of moms and dads silently grieving as well as those nearest to them who are searching for ways to love them through it.”
Director of Strategic Outreach and Editorial Director, Free Chapel
“Candy and Gary have taken on an important and much-needed conversation with this book. I know first-hand the pain of losing multiple pregnancies to miscarriage; it can feel so difficult, isolating, and hopeless. Knowing how to navigate this journey with love will be a gift to so many.”
“What a refreshing truth to help bring healing to hurt! This is a book that should be read by every pastor, teacher, counselor, doctor, mother, and friend. Though I have raised 19 beautiful children, my heart still often feels the loss of our 4 miscarried babies that are in heaven. No one prepared me for the months of tears and the emptiness that I felt. Though amidst an army of loving family and friends, there was still a loneliness that gripped my heart. How I wish this book had been available those many years ago! What a joy and encouragement it has been to read it now. When the unthinkable happens—the loss of a child—our world turns upside down! Candy McVicar and Gary Chapman walk us through the challenges, the emotions, and even the relational issues that accompany this unexpected and devastating loss. Now there is hope for the hurting mom or dad, for the grieving friends and family who want to comfort but feel so helpless. I know this book will be a welcomed and treasured source of wisdom as you journey through this storm or as you help someone else through this painful road toward healing.”
–Kelly Jo Bates
Mother to 4 precious babies in heaven and 19 wonderful children
Kelly, her husband Gil, and their family appear on the Bringing Up Bates reality TV show
"Losing a child is an unspeakable loss. Instead of holding your little one in your arms, you have suddenly become part of a club no on would ever want to join. How do you navigate the pain? How does your marriage survive such grief? Candy has been there, and in this book she will tenderly walk you down a path to healing, hope, and love."
–Sheila Walsh, author of It's Okay Not to Be Okay
Candy McVicar was blindsided by the death of her baby, which opened her eyes to the dark world of grief and trauma. Her subsequent infertility and a late miscarriage compounded her sorrow, making it difficult to survive with hope. Amazingly, she navigated grief and experienced healing by discovering new ways to love through loss.
In Holding On to Love After You've Lost a Baby, Candy teams up with relationship expert Gary Chapman to guide you through using the five love languages to find healing after the loss of a child. Both Gary and Candy share from their extensive personal and professional experience to help you: