From the Publisher

Ain't She Sweet

My eighty-three-year-old yoga instructor, Rupa Babu always says that when your soul is conflicted and your mind is foggy, you need to drop to the ground and immediately execute an Ardha Matsyendrasansa, or half spinal twist. Hold it for twelve minutes and then start writing—I usually write lists. She promises enlightenment will flow through your fingers and your spine will be as supple as a newborn baby’s. I could only ever hold the pose for five minutes, but I still hoped for enlightenment.

Things I Don’t Like About Modeling

1. Being so hungry I start fantasizing about stealing a little girl’s ice cream cone and eating the whole thing before she can tell her mother. Not that I’ve ever done that, but there have been some close calls.

2. Wearing clothes that I wouldn’t be caught dead in in real life. I cite the black jean mini skirt with an over-the-top ragged fringe hem that oddly dipped in the front making it look like I’d missed my last twenty waxing appointments.

3. That German photographer, Helmet, who spits orders—as in literal spit flies out of his mouth, often hitting me. “Lächeln! Wende! Und nicht jetzt, diese schlampe geht nicht raus! Translation: “Smile! Move! And inexplicably, Not now, this lady dog isn’t putting out!” I’m pretty sure something got lost in translation with this one.

Things I Like About Modeling

Yup, pretty sure it’s time for a change.